New York Times

When I first saw this story pop up on the Times, I thought Apple had gone off the deep end and created a new feminine product.  Thankfully, they created a new e-book/tablet instead.  While this thing can’t regulate your flow, it looks like it can, however, function like an iTouch, letting you surf the web, use all those crazy apps, and do those acrobatic touch-screen finger movements that make you look like you’re tickling an inanimate object.

Since I totally missed the whole Kindle bandwagon, I feel like all this iPad frenzy is something I can see myself getting sucked in to.  If only it wasn’t $300 over my budget…and if they would consider changing the name to something that doesn’t make all women cringe…

Let’s be honest though — all I really have to do is wait for knock-offs to pop up at the nearest Electronic City.  Get on it, shanzai!

UPDATE:  There’s already a shanzai clone!

                                                                                                                      Photo: REUTERS

Wish I were smart enough to bring a camera with me on New Years Eve. The Shanghai skyline was even more stunning than usual that night, with people releasing paper lanterns all along the Bund.  I’m going to just pretend the above picture was taken on New Years Eve and that my wishing lantern is up there somewhere.  Unless it somehow caught on fire and imploded en route to the heavens…in which case, there goes any chance we ever had for world peace.

So how did I ring in the new decade? Some highlights include (in chronological order no less):

• eating the most delicious hamburger I’ve had in a long time (New York Style Steak & Burger, Taikang Alley – definitely check it out)
• hopping on a “party bus” that was actually just a normal city bus but filled with New Years Eve revelers and scattered bottles of Tsingtao instead of old ladies  
• running into one of my best friends from Mississippi whom I had not seen in 7 years (still can’t get over this) 
• releasing a paper lantern into the night sky and getting a group of 30+ bystanders to wish on it with us
• watching the fireworks on the Bund and counting down to midnight in Chinese 
• experiencing M2 in all its seizure-inducing glory
• meeting and playing dice games (not as sketch as it sounds. promise, Mom) with members of the Shanghai basketball team
• singing karaoke with said members of Shanghai basketball team at 4am
• rolling out of karaoke club at around 6am to be greeted by a new day

Hmm, looking over this list now I feel like things quickly went from warmyfuzzysentimental to wacky after midnight.  One thing I did learn from that night though is that staying up until 6am kinda made me feel like Tracy Jordan on that one episode of 30 Rock where he goes to the after-party and then the after-after-party and then the after-after-after-after-after…party.  Feeling like you’re Tracy Jordan is never a good thing.

But it’s a new year! And with new years come new gym memberships, vows to treat your body better (specifically your liver), and other equally ambitious professional and personal goals. Mine for the New Year?

• Obtain a driver’s license … in China:  Why not, right? Ha, actually I can think of about 243 reasons off the top of my head right now as to why this is not a good idea, but I’ve always wanted to go on a road trip around China. My family in Chengdu showed me pictures from their road trip to Qinghai a few months ago (how badass are they?!) and I am now determined to make this happen.

mmmmm, yes please

• Learn how to read Chinese road signs: see goal #1
• Explore more of Shanghai:  It seems that I’ve already developed a bad case of “oh plz girl I’m a local now, no need to do any touristy things around Shanghai.” This can also be called “laziness”.  Truth is, though, I’m definitely not a local yet and I would still love love LOVE to check out the Shanghai Museum, Pudong (the entire district – what is that place even about?!), and the river town. 
• Figure out my life plan!!11!1
• Oh, and eat more greens. (Yuxiang qie zi does not count)

 

The first time I heard the faint rumblings of a Christmas song preparing to erupt through the speakers at my local Starbucks (the tinkling of sleigh bells! the background xylophone!) I knew that the Holiday season had descended upon us.  For me nothing signals the start of Christmas fever better than Mariah Carey belting out “all I want for Christmas is…yoooouuuuuuu!” Like the high-pitched beeping that precedes the opening of train doors on the metro, Mariah’s high C opens the floodgates of Christmas, letting out an avalanche of tinsel, Santa impersonators, and 50%off sales.

Some of the decorations here are quite tasteful, like the twinkling lights that line Huai Hai Rd.

Others, however, are not as low key.

(Jing An Temple: Tree sponsored by Longines!)

Visual reminders of Christmas are EVERYWHERE — traditional reindeer setups, plastic pine trees, and Haibaos dressed as Santa stand ready to greet you at every corner.  However, I’ve noticed that there’s always something a little…off.

Take the window displays for instance. Small businesses around the city have taken to decorating their storefront windows with white spray paint — a cheap, fool-proof way to add some frosty cheer to any facade.  But walking past a hair salon today, I saw that the entire storefront had the words “I LOOOVE YOU” sprawled across the doors and little Star of Davids sprinkled throughout. I’m assuming they were meant to be a snowflakes? 

Whatever they were, they made my day. Spray paint faux pas and ostensibly Jewish hairstylists add a dimension of quirkiness that can’t be replicated anywhere else. The explosion of decorations here has yet to stir up my holiday spirit, but just walking around this city provides enough absurd moments to keep me smiling. And that’s what Christmas is all about right?

Barf. Ok enough sentimentality. Time for some mulled wine. 圣诞快乐!

“It’ll be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.
— No, it’s going to be difficult-difficult-lemon-difficult.”

Sometimes I wonder what my life here would be like without Youku, the Chinese version of Youtube but with more full-length movies and fewer videos of cats playing keyboards.

Would I read more? Perhaps. Would I still procrastinate? You betcha. It’s taken me a good 4 days to actually get this post up. Ha, just kidding. (Or am I?)

Alls I know though is that without Youku, I wouldn’t be able to watch one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a while: In the Loop. If you’re not a fan of swearing, then this probably isn’t the movie for you. But if you DO like swearing, spot on one-liners, and political satire, then this is most definitely the cracked out/slightly offensive movie for you.

Watch it here on Youku!

This is the first installment in what will hopefully be a weekly foray into the fascinating, MSG-laced world of Chinese cooking.  It all started when I found myself, once again, eating a delicious take-out meal of yuxiang eggplant. In the middle of my second bite, I panicked. Who was going to make this for me once I left China?! Where I’m from, the only available Chinese food is either named after a General who never existed or deep-fried into non-recognition. And after 3 months of eating out in Shanghai, it was about time that I “get in touch with my roots” and find my inner wok-wielding self.

Ayi, a hearty, wise-cracking woman from Anhui province, came over last Friday night to school us in the way of 3 dishes: fried egg and tomato, spicy stir-fried eggplant, spicy “麻辣” tofu, and some random dish involving yellow fish.

First up, spicy tofu. Ingredients: cooking oil (lots and lots of it!), ground pork, one diced up block of soft tofu, soy sauce, salt salt and more salt, diced hot peppers, peppercorns, spicy cooking sauce (辣椒), and a sprinkling of MSG. This was the point in the night when we realized that MSG = your best friend.  It might look like crystal meth, but it makes everything tastes daaammmn good.  It’s not really the healthiest dish but hey, I’m sure Paula Deen’s done worse.

The actual cooking literally took only 5 minutes.  Once we had everything diced and ready to go for Ayi, she went into action and was a frenzied blur of stirring, cupboard-searching, and explaining.

Next was spicy stir-fried eggplant. Ingredients: cooking oil, minced garlic, thin Japanese-style eggplants, soy sauce, chopped green onion, spicy cooking sauce (辣椒), salt, and of course, MSG.  Like its tofu counterpart, this dish takes only 5 minutes of stir-frying as well.

We initially wanted to go for yuxiang eggplant but alas and alack, we didn’t have the proper sauces to make it happen. Ayi did her best to work with what we had, and the results were, to no surprise, delicious.

Then came the fried egg and tomato, an easy, fool-proof dish. Ingredients: cooking oil, 4 eggs mixed with chopped green onion, 2 diced tomatoes, diced hot peppers, salt, and MSG.

No whisk needed! Also, see that huge container of cooking oil in the background? About 1/5 of that was gone by the end of the night. Yikes.

Last, but not least, was THE FISH. Ingredients: cooking oil, 4 whole yellow fish covered in cooking flour, vinegar, bai jiu (distilled hard alcohol), minced ginger, whole garlic, chopped green onion, salt, MSG, and some other random things Ayi pulled out from the back corners of our cupboards.  We think vinegar was the key ingredient here because once she poured it in, the most amazing aroma materialized from the wok, and everything started looking like this:

That’s fish in there, I swear.

To be honest, it was probably my favorite dish of the night. Paired with some steamed rice and a coffee mug of cheap table wine, it was the perfect ending to an educational night.

China has unblocked WordPress. REJOICE!

I’ve been able to update this thing through Flickr, but it’s nice to have the WordPress interface back. Plus, I can once again see how many people searched “pickup truck” to get to my blog (seriously, there’s at least one every day), only to find pictures of pandas and greasy food.

Well, for all you pickup truck seekers out there who were led astray…this one’s for you.

Examples of advertising in China. KFC

Originally uploaded by Ivan Walsh

Western fast-food chains are a common sight around Shanghai. In the mega shopping/commercial plaza where I work, it’s hard to walk anywhere without running into golden arches or the venerable Colonel Sanders.

When KFC and McDonald’s first opened their doors to Chinese customers in the early 1990s, it seems as though they opened the floodgates to a host of fast-food chains itching to get in on the action. Subway, Pizza Hut, BK, and Dairy Queen are all beacons of Western fare around these parts, familiar faces in a sea of noodles and pigs feet.

The other day I was walking across the plaza on my way to lunch, when out of nowhere a horde of small children came rushing past me screaming “KFC! KFCCCCCC!”, arms waving wildly and red scarves blowing in the wind. Having narrowly missed death by stampeding children, I watched from afar as the horde charged through the shiny, grease-stained doors and disappeared into the fluorescent lighting.

Not gonna lie. I can see where those kids are coming from.

Though I’ve never actually tried any of their chicken products, KFC’s 5.50RMB coffee has saved my sanity on several occasions. …And their hash browns are pretty good too.

Most surprising about the KFCs around here, or any Western chain for that matter, are the culturally-specific menus. Looking for cole slaw and biscuits? Well, sorry. Try the congee and bamboo shoots instead! Even in McDonald’s and BK, I’ve seen everything from tarot pies to shrimp burgers. Once, even a quadruple cheeseburger. Is that even legal in the states?

But translating your brand to Chinese audiences isn’t without its missteps. Apparently, KFC’s slogan “finger-lickin’ good” was once mistranslated into Chinese characters that read “eat your fingers off.”

With all this talk of China being the “next superpower” though, will the tides turn? Is the implanting of Chinese restaurant chains abroad a real possibility? I, for one, would LOVE to see a Little Sheep (awesome hot pot joint) pop up in Gatlinburg. But high setup costs and barriers to entry aside, it’s hard to imagine at this point in time ANY Chinese brand making it big abroad. Korea and Japan have been incredibly successful when it comes to branding (Toyota, Samsung, LG, etc.), but they’re also waaaay ahead of China in terms of business development.

It’ll probably be a while before I find myself enjoying hot pot and Dollywood in one day. For now, I’ll just sip on my KFC coffee and congee.

Best. Birthday. Gift. Ever.

Originally uploaded by mirabile.dictu

(Thanks, Betsy!)

Originally uploaded by mirabile.dictu

More pictures galore at http://www.flickr.com/photos/mirabile_dictu/

茄子 (Eggplant)

Originally uploaded by gray_eminence

Eggplant. Aubergine. 茄子. Tinky Winky in vegetable form. Whatever you decide to call this admittedly odd looking vegetable, it all tastes the same to me: DELICIOUS.

My obsession with this vegetable really knows no bounds. During my first week in Shanghai I’m pretty sure I had “qie zi” (eggplant) and rice 5 days in row and by the sixth, I was still begging for more. Luckily, I’ve regained some semblance of self-control by now and realized that eating fried eggplant smothered in garlic and vinegar sauce is a one way ticket to the beetis (this is point in the post where I would usually post a ludicrous Youtube video related to the aforementioned “beetis”, but since Youtube is blocked here, I implore you to look up some combination of the words “beetis, dance, remix, Wilford Brimley”. You won’t be disappointed.)

Wow, what a tangent. See GFW? Look what you make me do. Geez.

Back to qie zi. As I was saying, the most common eggplant dish here is “yu xiang qie zi”, the fried spicy/garlic-ly version that is a staple in my Chinese diet. My friend Betsy is a huge fan of the qie zi as well and together, we’ve unwittingly embarked on a gustatory adventure, in search of the best qie zi in Shanghai. Top contenders include qie zi with basil and 红烧 (hong shao) qie zi, but my absolute favorite so far is a simple qie zi and pancake dish at this wonderful little Shanghainese restaurant in Xuhui.

Call it a qie zi taco if you will. Anyone who’s eaten Peking duck knows just how fun (and delicious) the DIY process is. Well, this dish is the same except that instead of duck there’s, yep you guessed it, qie zi. The combination of the soft, savory qie zi with the thin quesadilla-like wrap is sensational. Tastes so good when it hits your lips.

Here’s a recipe for “yu xiang qie zi” that’s pretty similar to my mom’s recipe and not too hard to make. Make sure the qie zi is nice and soft though by the end. I don’t know about some people, but I like my qie zi goopy.

http://chinesefood.about.com/od/szechuancuisine/r/eggplant_garlic.htm